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Who needs Santa when we have Najib?

Mariam Mokhtar
Malaysiakini
Dec 24, 2012

Who needs Father Christmas when we have Prime Minister Najib Abdul Razak?

The world has Father Christmas. In western folklore, he is the legendary figure who brings presents to the homes of good children on the night of Christmas eve. He is usually portrayed as a chubby, joyful, white-bearded man who wears black boots and a red suit trimmed with white fur. Santa lives in the North Pole with Mama Claus, and is assisted by his magical elves and flying reindeer.

In Malaysia, Najib has assumed the role of Santa, with his various handouts. Najib does not have Santa’s long white beard nor rosy cheeks, but many women claim to be envious of his luscious red lips.

Both the Malaysian Santa and his Mama Claus live in a sprawling mansion called Seri Perdana, with an air-conditioning system which would make Santa jealous. To put things into perspective, the official residence of the British PM, No 10 Downing Street, is a garden shed in comparison.

Seri Perdana has deep pile carpets, kitsch Louis Farouk gilded antique reproduction furniture and the walls are adorned with several life-size portraits of both Santa Najib and the Malaysian Mama Claus. A psychiatrist would find these portraits interesting material for a thesis on narcissism.

Santa Najib has his own elves; they are small in stature and small-minded, so that many people have dubbed them, ‘Little Napoleons’.

Instead of eight flying reindeer, Santa Najib flits around the world in government jets and high powered cars. When on Malaysian soil, other motorists are forced off the roads by outriders.

Britain’s monarch travels around in an English car, with one outrider. Sometimes, her consort, Prince Philip drives around in his own black London cab. One would have thought that Santa Najib would be proud to be driven in a Proton, the national car of Malaysia. Why does he use an imported car?

Santa delivers toys and sweets to the well-behaved children of the world, whilst naughty ones receive coal. English children leave mince pies for Santa. In Malaysia, things are different; whole families have to leave their souls for Santa Najib. He also delivers money and contracts to his cronies.

Instead of distributing presents from a big bag on Santa Najib’s sleigh, Mama Claus buys bags and rings.

As it is an election year, Santa Najib cannot be too picky. He cannot pretend to help only the Muslims. He must pretend to help everyone. Santa Najib cries “Ho, Ho, Ho… You help me, I help you.”

In days of old, the people who gave Malaysian leaders the most headaches would simply disappear and be swallowed up by the Internal Security Act (ISA); but in these days of activism and political awareness, Santa Najib has to be careful. His major headache is the Malays. They must be persuaded to vote Umno, to maintain his party’s strangle-hold on power.

Have the ultra-conservatives been gagged?

Surprisingly, in the run-up to Christmas this year, we have not heard of complaints about carols being banned from shopping malls, carolling being forbidden outside homes or of crucifixes being torn off walls in preparation for a visit by a senior Umno politician. Have the ultra-conservative Muslims and Malays been gagged?

The run-up to most festivals is stressful. Housewives suffer from the normal stresses of buying food and worry if there will be sufficient stocks. They are aware that some unscrupulous retailers will hoard food items to cause panic buying, so they can sell at a premium.

Fortunately, none of the usual Christmas foods have been banned. Do bans affect only Muslim festivals? You may remember that the Department of Islamic Development Malaysia (Jakim) took Golden Churn butter off the shelves because they were deemed haram. There were allegations of pig DNA being found in the popular brand of butter, used by many Malays and cakeshops to make kek lapis for Hari Raya.

Most people said that they had never heard of pigs being milked for butter. The cynics said that the herds of genetically modified dairy pigs must be top secret; no films of these herds have ever been released.

The most important celebration in the Christian calendar is Easter. If GE13 is held before Easter and Santa Najib wins, he will probably ban hot cross buns, to appease the ultra-conservative Muslims.

Last week, Santa Najib played to the Indian community by saying that Indian teachers would be allowed into Malaysia to teach English. Few have fallen for this election gimmick.

Surely, the most cynical ploy by Santa Najib is the lifting of travel restrictions on travel to Israel for Christians.

The oft-asked question is why now? Why do it with GE13 approaching?

Jerusalem is a holy city for Christians, Jews and Muslims. Are Malaysian Muslims still banned from travel to Israel?

If Santa Najib was sincere, he could lift the ban on the use of the word Allah by Malaysian Christians. He could also lift the ban on Malay Bibles. What about censuring extremist Muslim and Malay groups and individuals, for their fiery propaganda against Christians?

Many people, including Muslims, go abroad to admire the fine architecture of churches and abbeys, or wonder at the simplicity of old chapels. Why do modern Malaysian churches have to look like a shoplot or a factory unit? How about lifting the restrictions on the building of churches in Malaysia?

The only good thing about Santa Najib’s Christmas cheer is that the Malaysians who make their way to Jerusalem would at least feel at home with the ‘1Israel’ slogan.

‘1Israel’ is so similar to Santa Najib’s ‘1Malaysia’, you’d think the Israelis and Najib were in league.

Happy Christmas to Everyone!

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42 Replies to “Who needs Santa when we have Najib?”

  9. “HO HO HO…I help you…you help me!”…said Santa Najib long before Christmas.
    Why don’t he uses a plane or a helicopter and throw all the millions targeted at each area …with a loud speaker…speaking like that and finish his job in few days?
    His touch and feel to give…promises to deliver..all failed to convince the receivers to change their minds…..for all know Santa Najib cannot be trusted.
    His and elf’s name Rosmah’ reputations are wellknown.
    All are ready for 4 years and now…13th GE must come…or civil war…his choice.

  11. aiya…. chengho supports a big time thief and murderer.
    He must have received big angpow from Santa Najib.
    If all the stealing…plundering…murdering….are jokes to him….he needs a shrink to check his brain.

  20. 25th December ….same as Jesus.
    Actually it is a festive created to celebrate the birth of Jesus.
    Our Santa Najib birthday…. no one cares..except .perhaps…chengho.
    Now he says…he will listen to Christians complaints..in Star paper today.
    That guy speaks months too late…but speaking he must to keep trying wooing votes for BN.

  21. If Najib is Santa, the recepients are checking their stockings and pretty dissapointed – BR1M only gave him only 1pt boost and its likely still going down..Felda setttlers want to give back their “durian runtuh” in exchange for real ones, Sabahan want to know exactly how big Musa Aman presents are all these years if RM40m is pittance. Sarawakian already know their present IS PITTANCE compared to Taib and then there is Shahrizat who wrongly took RM250m that is suppose to go elsewhere..And the lists goes on and on..

  22. “Are Malaysian Muslims still banned from travel to Israel?”

    Since when has the ban been lifted for other Malaysians?
    I see in my passport, its still ‘except’ Israel.

    When we renew our passports, the balance of 6 months wont be added to the new dates. Which literally means forfeited by the government. Why cant it be added on? We feel cheated.
    Will Santa Najib return the 6 months minimum for traveling period to us?

  23. Although it is regrettable that there are Malaysians who still support UMNO/BN
    in spite of the fact that it is corrupted, cheating, lying, deviant and scam ridden.
    However, this support must be seen in the following context:
    These people are:
    1. insane
    2. brain dead
    3. cronies
    4. masochistic
    5. mercenaries
    6. hare brained
    So, supporters of UMNO/BN, which category do you fit in?

  24. When we renew our passports, the balance of 6 months wont be added to the new dates. Which literally means forfeited by the government. Why cant it be added on? We feel cheated.
    Will Santa Najib announce the addition of the 6 months minimum for traveling period to us?

  26. And for more wow wow wow.. Santa Clause is only around 150 years old…while Jesus should be 2012 years old.
    Jesus was a Jew…Santa is still alive….born from the Alps…perhaps a Norwegian brought up by the British/American parents.
    To make sure every Christian parent love their children…thousands of look-a-like Santa Clause are being created by toy makers like Matell..Toy-R-Us….making sure parents NEVER FORGET to spend…spend..spend.
    Anymore wow wow wow…cemerlang?

  27. As for Jesus…the date of his birth is under debate for years…making Hitler hoping mad…over the Jews mocking Jesus..but Hitler’s hot hated tempter ..made him mad and went overboard by killing millions of Jews for no reasons.
    Then comes the Muslims…and you know what’s going on in Palestine and Israel for he past 300 years.

  28. Santa Claus is synonmous with Christmas , A Merry, Merry time of celebrations and gifts bearing/giving and receiving (with heart felt, soul ful )period, A JOYOUS OCCASSION !
    Any reference to this ‘PM’ will just bring a sign of all things in limbo/question – of hipocrisy, insincerity, dubious, rhetorics, Altantuya C4 hindeous crime, TBH/AS//cases, Scorpene, NFC, ‘1 lady ?’ Rosmama, CIMB, and more,more,more,,, ‘last minute’ buying votes pre-election efforts utilising our public monies !
    So, is at totally different end of the scale – no association absolutely – one of total joyousness and the other just Nightmare – crippy !

  31. The trick is not how much pain you feel but how much joy you feel. Any idiot can feel pain. I think it’s very sad to watch the Prime Minister we have is a typical Umno politician
    that’s prone to hyperbole and decisiveness and false alarm.

    “There can be no beauty if it paid for by human injustice, nor truth that passes over injustice in silence, nor moral virtue that condones it.” – Tadeusz Borowski

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