How grief brings us together

By Dyana Sofya – Malay Mail Online

March 27 — One of my father’s favorite bands is the Bee Gees. I grew up listening to them especially during weekends when he would spend hours in front of his elaborated sound system listening to old classics, from Santana’s Black Magic Woman, Pink Floyd’s Another Brick in the Wall to Sweet Charity’s Teratai.

My mother who loves to chat, be it face-to-face with another person or on the phone was not fond of my father’s weekend routine because it would be too noisy for her to listen to herself but they however subconsciously insist to be in the same room despite their different needs.

The tragedy of MH370 made all of us realise the value of family, unity and togetherness. Those onboard of MH370 are someone’s father, mother, son and daughter. We may have different backgrounds, nations, languages, colours, cultures, likes, dislikes, habits, and manners in every way of life, nonetheless, they are our brothers and sisters in humanity.

The incident showed us that we are all connected, we are first and foremost, human beings. We share the same feeling of worry and disbelief throughout the seventeen days hoping for a clue, an answer to the missing MH370 together with 239 of its passengers and crew. All of us were concerned and baffled on how a technology-advanced aircraft goes missing without a sign. Our hearts stopped at once for a second when the Prime Minister made the announcement that flight MH370 ended in the southern Indian Ocean. All of our hearts, thoughts and prayers go to the passengers and crew, their family members and friends.

A friend of mine said, “The families of 239 people need our strength, our compassion and our attention.” And I agree. We should reach out and help in any way that we can.

We may all grieve in our own ways. Some seek answers, some choose to get a closure, and some resort to anger. Some spend hours on conspiracy theories. However, the sadness of loss is universal. Instead of judging one another or get into a quarrel, we should just look into one another’s eyes, understand that this is a difficult moment and let the negativity go. We don’t need to add to the agony and loss of those who are directly affected.

It’s simply human to be vulnerable, it is not a weakness. We need each other and need to look out for each other. This incident has brought us together.

At times like this shoulders to lean on, arms around one another, hands to hold to are all that we need. Everything else can wait.

We should be reminded to appreciate the people around us, our parents, family members, friends and foes, colleagues, neighbours and even the makcik who sells kuih by the roadside where we always get our evening pisang goreng from. Acknowledge their existence, a simple salam or hello, show them that we care, give them a helping hand, a kind act, we might be the sunshine that they need for that particular day. Caring about others, showing compassion and leaving an impact on people bring happiness to both the giver and receiver.

A moment of acceptance and appreciation is a moment of unity and togetherness.

Despite our differences, we are after all, one big family. Families are there for one another. We are now a family in grief and we should lend shoulders as well as support to each other under this Malaysian roof that we shared. Cherish our family. Group hug.

MH370, you will always be in our hearts.

I have not been spending time with my parents and I will be going back to Ipoh one of these weekends to listen to old songs with my father and gossip with my mother, in the same room at the same time. Dear God, please grant me the ability to do so. Also, I need to dodge questions about marriage when I visit my grandmother at Kuala Kangsar road. (God, I need help with the dodging, too)

My love and prayers for the passengers and crew of MH370, their family members, friends and those who are directly affected by the tragedy.

To MH370,

I keep the memory of you and me, inside. We don’t say goodbye.

-Immortality, written by the Bee Gees, sung by Celine Dion.

Al-fatihah.