Posted on by Kit

Beloved Sister lost

I appreciate the messages of condolence from party comrades, supporters, sympathizers, friends and fellow Malaysians on my family’s bereavement over the loss of my sister, Kit Hwa, 82, through this blog, facebook, sms, phone or direct communication.

I felt very keenly the loss of my sister, who passed away peacefully in her home in Batu Pahat, Johore on Saturday, 29th December 2007 at about 1.30 pm after over six years of battle with Alzheimer’s disease (AD), She was the eldest and I the youngest in the family with a 15-year age difference, which explains why we were especially close.

I was in Kota Kinabalu with Teresa Kok, DAP MP for Seputeh on that day in response to a government invitation to attend the Christmas Open House and we were waiting for a very late lunch on 29th December 2007 to be served after several programmes, including a media conference and visiting the Sabah leader of Parti Keadilan Rakyat Dr. Jeffrey Kitingan at the VIP ward of the Queen Elizabeth Hospital, Kota Kinabalu who had had a nasty automobile accident.

My daughter, Hui Ming, who was in Penang with the family for the end-of-the-year holidays, phoned to tell me the bad news about my sister. A very distraught and crying Evelyn, my sis’ second daughter, had phoned about her mother’s death and asked her to inform the rest of the Lim family – my other children Guan Eng, Hui Ying and Guan Choon, my brother in Singapore and my elder brother’s family in Batu Pahat.

I immediately phoned Ho Lai Chee, 83, my brother-in-law at home in Batu Pahat, who like other members of the family were crying. In the grief, there was also thankfulness that Kit Hwa passed away when all her five children, Eva, Wyman, William, Evelyn and Ee Yong, and six grandchildren have returned to the hometown for a family reunion from as far as Australia and United Kingdom.

Lai Chee had been a good and exemplary husband and head of the household. He was not only a successful businessman in Batu Pahat but had taken active part in the local community affairs, serving for many years as President of the Batu Pahat Chinese Chamber Commerce, President of the Kong Siew Association, the federation of board of managements of the five Chinese Schools in Batu Pahat, as well as other capacities.

However, even more meaningful than his role as a pillar of society with his social and community services must be his success in bringing up a very loving and close-knit family, although scattered in different parts of the world as far afield as Sydney and London, and the life-long love he devoted to his wife, especially the past seven years when my sis was afflicted with the debilitating AD.

My sis’ passing will be remembered by another strange phenomena. She had planted a durian tree in her compound but which had not fruited for 20 years. In the past few years, the durian street had begun to share in her largesse, but fruiting very sparingly – about half-a-dozen a year.

The next morning sis died, the family found a solitary durian had dropped from the tree – as if to mark the passing to another world of another homo sapien. To commemorate the event, the durian fruit with its increasing fragrance was given pride of place in the five-day wake.

Her funeral is this morning. In another hour or so, my sis will be taking her last journey. She was a pioneer in her time, the first batch of girls in Batu Pahat to have completed English secondary education – at a time when the social attitude of the day was to regard education for girls as a waste of time and money as they were going to be “married off” in any event, and so “no point” whatsoever in giving girls too many years of schooling!

At that time, girls were regarded as little better than “chattels” to be married off for their proper monetary value in dowry! My sis rebelled against such “gender bias” and won her battle to complete her secondary education.

But a greater heroine was my mother, Tiu Kau Nee, who was the redoubtable ally of my sis, fully ahead of her time in standing up to the regressive social pressures of the time discouraging expending too much time and resources on giving girls too many years of education.

She backed up sis and insisted that she had the opportunity to go through her secondary studies. My mother belonged to the line of unsung heroes and heroines who played their part in ushering in social changes and I have no doubt that if university education had been developed at the time, she would have given my sis full backing for her to be one of the earliest girls to proceed to tertiary studies.

Rest in peace, sis. You had been blessed with a good and loving husband and a good and loving family.

(P.S – Apologies to guests at the KK lunch that I was not my normal self, as I was distraught over my sis’ passing and unable to take part in the conversation. I also left early at the subsequent Christmas Open House, explaining to Deputy Prime Minister, Datuk Seri Najib Razak, Datuk Seri Dr. Rais Yatim and Datuk Seri Dr. Chua Soi Lek – who also hails from Batu Pahat – the reason for my early departure. I thank them for their instant condolences.)

75 Replies to “Beloved Sister lost”

  1. Of course you must be from such a fine family. Your upbringing is reflected in your thoughts and your words. It’s also seen in your children.
    Dying is a sad part of life but nevertheless, inevitable. However, death gives birth to NEW LIFE.
    My deepest condolence to you and your family.

  3. My deepest condolence to you and the rest of families member.
    She have shared with all of you what is really best of her through out her entire journey here.
    Remember her in what she have shared and guided you in what she have given that best driven you to the point of where you are today.
    No one is ever prefect in things that we acquire each day, however, we learnt that it takes a good companionship from someone to keep us on the right track somehow and that what she have done.
    Pray for her soul to be rest in peace.

  7. We feel “keenly the loss” because the departed had been a good person and we’re grieving for that which had been our delight. As Lebanese poet Kahlil Gibran said, “For life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one”. So even as we celebrate the former, we have to yield peacefully to the other, being grateful that in between we have had a good life, counting foremost amongst which is, as you have said, the blessing of “a good and loving family”. Once again, please accept my deep, sincere and heartfelt condolence.

  11. Uncle Lim,

    My deepest condolence. From your write-up your sister had a very fruitful life. After following your activities for the past 40 over years, there is still “fresh” info about your family. Thanks for sharing.

  12. YB Kit, my deepest condolences on your deep loss. I especially noted this statement of yours:

    “She was the eldest and I the youngest in the family with a 15-year age difference, which explains why we were especially close.”

    You were saying something more beyond these words. I feel it. Your sister has done right by you for you to turn out to be the righteous person that you are.

    Kit Hwa, rest in peace.

  25. ~After They Are Gone~

    When someone we love passes away,
    We ache, but we go on;
    Our dear departed would want us to heal,
    After they are gone.

    Grief is a normal way to mend
    The anguish and pain in our hearts;
    We need time to remember and time to mourn,
    Before the recovery starts.

    Let’s draw together to recuperate,
    As we go throught this period of sorrow;
    Let’s help each other, with tender care
    To find a brighter tomorrow.

    By Joanna Fuchs

  29. YB,

    She is in a better place. She has moved on to the next phase of her journey! Lets us be happy for her as she is one with The Maker and is no longer constrained by her wordly body.

    She is the one who should be feeling sorry for you (and us!) being stuck with all the trappings of our mind and wordly bodies (and ha-ha, being stuck in boleh-land)

  31. I’m very sorry to hear that.
    That’s a really bitter moment for you and your family.
    My deepest condolence forwarded to you and your family members.

    “For everything there is a season,
    And a time for every matter under heaven:
    A time to be born, and a time to die;
    A time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
    A time to kill, and a time to heal;
    A time to break down, and a time to build up;
    A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
    A time to mourn, and a time to dance;
    A time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
    A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing;
    A time to seek, and a time to lose;
    A time to keep, and a time to throw away;
    A time to tear, and a time to sew;
    A time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
    A time to love, and a time to hate,
    A time for war, and a time for peace.”

    May the soul rest in peace!

  38. My deepest condolence to you and family ! The lost of
    a loved and dear one is truly beyond words as I had lost
    my elder sis through breast cancer some 10 years ago.

    Be strong and of good courage as she would had wanted
    you to carry on this task of standing up for the those in
    need of justice and be their voices in parliament.

    Your rewards may not be in monetary form but you have
    had won the hearts of many malaysians out there !!!

  39. YB Kit,

    Thank you deeply for including all of us in your moment of grief. She is part of you, and you are very much part of us and we in you. Therefore, your grief is also ours.

    In spite of your loss, you still put duty above self. Thank you, two little words with deep meaning, for striving for a better future for all Malaysians.

    May your sister Kit Hwa rest in peace.

  40. My deepest condolence to you and your late sister family.May your late sister be at peaceful realm, Nirvana.

    Meanwhile,YB Lim, do take care of your health as there are still many battles for you to fight for the Malaysians. May you be blessed with good health in this new year 2008.

  42. YB Lim,
    Fighting for the poor and helpless is in your family traits.
    I believe your late sister was no exception.
    Being righteous, her place in Heaven is assured.
    MAY SHE REST IN ETERNAL PEACE!

    MY DEEPEST CONDOLENCES TO YOU AND FAMILY AND MAY YOU FIND STRENTH TO SOLDIER ON WITH YOUR NOBLE TASK.

    GOD BLESS YOU AND ALL

  43. Thank you for sharing.

    My deepest heartfelt condolenes to you and family.

    Kit Hwa had done well! She is an example for us to live well.

    We only have a life time to live. Rich or poor, short or long, we are all terminar.

    Let us do whatever good we can today! Tomorrow may not come.

    Kit, thank you for fighting for a better Malaysia fo all!

  47. our deepest condolence to you.

    my grandma passed away due to alzheimer more than 20 years ago at the age of 85.
    i did not even know that there was something called alzheimer disease at that time (and also not knowing about parkinson).
    when we saw her lying in bed over the years without knowing anything, although she took food (no much difference from brain dead), I thought it may be better for her to leave in order to ease her suffering and our suffering in taking care of her.
    but after she had her last breath, i felt like something was missing from home.

    there has been increasing number of neuro-related illnesses these days. like cancer, we hope the government will do something soonest because of our aging society.

    Uncle Lim, your sister did lead a happy and long life

  50. Uncle Lim,
    My condolence to you and your family members. I trust that your sister will not be alone because part of you would have died together with her. That part is your consciousness.

    May God bless her soul and help her continue her journey in eternity.
    Wherever she is, she will be proud of you.

    God bless Kit Hwa.

  54. The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want.
    He maketh me to lie down in green pastures:
    He leadeth me beside the still waters.
    He restoreth my soul:
    He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for His name’ sake.

    Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
    I will fear no evil: For thou art with me;
    Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me.
    Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies;
    Thou annointest my head with oil; My cup runneth over.

    Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life,
    and I will dwell in the House of the Lord forever.

  61. While mourning your sis, we hope you will gain strength and become stronger!

    We hope you will live another 50 years to fight this corrupted UMO-led Gomen!

    Pls stay healthy, Malaysia needs a strong and mighty Kit!

  66. Uncle Kit,

    My condolences.

    I share your feelings of grief as I have lost my closest loved ones as well.

    Be strong and live well.

    The greatest gifts a person can bring to this world are smiles and laughter during birth but tears and sadness when leaving it.

    It means he/she is a welcomed addition to the family and has touch everyone’s hearts while living.

    May her soul rest in peace.

  72. Why is always the sisters who feel for us?

    I never went through the trials and tribulations such as you Kit, but I remember when my business failed and I lost everything (including my daily bread), it was my sister who gave me a tight slap and said “get up! get going! no time to feel sorry for yourself!”

    I am heartily sure she died proud. God speed!

    And here’s to all the sisters in this world.

  74. Having also undergone the melancholic experiences of losses of beloved family members, I can empathize with you in your moments of grief. They are indescribable.

    I offer my sincere condolences to you and your family on the passing of your beloved sister Kit Hwa.

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